Malix

How’s your day? Simple question to what can be a complex answer. Hello, my name is Tom Kulczewski and I’m a “Breaker” of sports cards. As in many situations in life, the what is the foundation, but the why is what’s really important. We will get into both!

Wednesday, October 11, 2023, started the same as a normal Wednesday, but this one had a nervousness in me that most days don’t. My wife, Michelle, and I have four children. The youngest, Malix, is almost 7 years old and most previous entries center around him. The nervousness is because, today Malix has a recheck of his heart. Just a few months ago at Malix’s yearly heart checkup, it was discovered his Mirtal Valve is of concern. Our hope going into today is that the discovery was incorrect and today was a recheck. I did not attend the appointment in the summer due to a busy day at work that had some new releases of sports cards out. I thought his checkup would be routine. This is a mistake I will never make again.

Back to Wednesday. First thing starts with the oldest. Trent is now a Freshman and one of the most dedicated kids I’ve ever met. Every morning I take him to school for “Zero hour” weights. We leave at 6:40 am, I’m back home at 7:00 am. He’s off, now it’s time for the others.

We have two daughters, Lydia (8th grade) and Matea (5th grade). The take care of themselves in the morning. Make their own breakfast, pack their own lunches, etc. Then they are free to help with Malix. Malix is in 1st grade and has incredible determination. Breakfast, getting ready and out the door is typically a 30 minute process. By 7:40 we are in the care and I take them to school. Note, our school district does provide bussing. The kids take the bus home, but in this busy life, I’ve found some days the only time I have with the kids is on the way to school and I cherish that time.

Dad hat is off, now to “breaker” hat. In 2016 I started side business opening sports cards online. It’s evolved into a business with a great team of coworkers and we have a shop in Downtown Waupun, WI to go along with our breaking operation. We started on facebook only. In February we launched our app, Uncommon. It’s available to download on the apple and google play store! In July, Fanatics (who owns Topps) launched their own app and we are fortunate enough to be apart of that too. The app is called: Fanatics Live. Today our shop will be live for many hours on both apps!

Back into work. Double check pricing, get ready for a busy day, make sure we have all the products! We started going live at 9 am selling boxes of new release, Bowman Chrome Universtiy Football. We anticipated being live from 9 to noonish selling boxes, then again live at 5 pm. We went live at 9 and ended at 10:30 pm! 13 1/2 hours live streaming. Wild!

At 10 am we “dropped” new release Topps Update, followed with other new releases of Bowman Chrome University and Allure Hockey. We were live for 5 hours in the evening, then had a night shift on uncommon where we were live for another 7 hours. Our Minnesota store was also live most of the time, and live in the evening on Fanatics Live!

What a long way we’ve come in this business just opening some on the side only 7 years ago. I’ve given a very quick rundown of the what, now the important part, WHY?

I am a “breaker” but my most important job is a Father. As mentioned earlier, Malix has a heart doctor appt this afternoon. Let’s give a quick recap. Malix was born on November 2, 2016. Only January 25, 2017 he a heart surgery to repair his Unbalanced AV Canal Defect, right-dominant). Read about that day here: https://malix.life/2020/03/16/the-day-the-miracle/

The surgery left Malix with a residual mitral valve stenosis. In my understanding his mitral valve in his heart could become smaller and need surgery to repair it. In our summer of 2022 check-up everything continued to look good. Something to keep an eye on, but nothing to be concerned about in the near future. “Looks good, see you next year” type of appointment.

Fast forward to October 12, 2023. There are reasons to be concerned things do not look good. Our crew is off and ripping cards and now I’m off with Michelle and Malix to Madison for this check-up. First of all, Malix is a little upset we did not stop for donuts. Come to think about it, so am I. The promise of post-appointment donuts is made and one that I will make sure we keep! We get to St. Mary Hospital in Madison right on time for our 1 pm appointment.

Walking into the appointment I’m not feeling good about how this is going to go. We get in right away and now time for the echocardiogram. If you are unfamiliar with this, it’s basically where the patient (Malix) needs to lay very still and the hospital staff takes imaging of his heart. If you know Malix, you definitely started laughing about the part he needs to be very still. Malix rocked it and sat great. The staff is confident they got great images. In his amazing sense of humor, he wanted them to take images of his belly when he drank water so he could see the water. They played along and make for some great laughs. Here this kid is, in a exam room, and we are so concerned what may not or maybe seen in these important images, so he breaks the tension with some fun of let’s see the water in my belly! Images done, now to see Dr. Rock to find results!

The Results….. going into today we hoped and prayed the results would show what they did in 2022. Everything is great, see you next year. Unfortunately this not what happened. Malix’s mitral stenosis is in fact severe. What does that mean?

Before we get into what, I find it extremely important that I am sharing our story. We have friends that, would do anything to be in the position we are in. Their stories are much different and more difficult. We pray for them and follow their journeys. The only journey I can share is one of ours and sharing it helps me and I believe spreads the message that others go through things big and small.

Ok, what does it mean. Malix has moved into the realm of needing a cardiac catheterization of the mitral value by sedated echocardiogram. Ok, what does that mean….. he will have a day at the Children’s Hospital in Madison where he is sedated. While sedated they will do a 3D echocardiogram to check his mitral valve. In this they will also check his heart of hypertension and other possible issues.

The big takeaway is that at some point Malix will show symptoms of needing this repair and he will need a surgical repair. That is now the best-case scenario. A repair is important, but a valve replacement is possibly in his future. This is assuming the echo shows no other issues.

What does it really mean? It means it’s time for DONUTS! That did not get lost on Malix, nor on me. We tried out Greenbush Bakery near Camp Randall Stadium. They were simply amazing. Malix enjoys the top portion of donuts only. On this day, this just fine with me.

Time to get back to work for me! It’s a 45 minute drive where I could sit in the back with Malix, eat donuts and check up on things at work from my phone. When I returned around 4 pm, We were still live on Fanatics Live and Uncommon. Feeling stressed out, I took the opportunity to give one of our breakers a break. I jumped in and opened a box of 2023 Topps Update for a customer.

Starting this journey in cards, opening packs brought me such balance to the issues in the real world. Today’s box did not disappoint. One of the last packs opened was a 1/1 Superfractor of Mets Rookie Pitcher Kodai Senga.

Pulling this huge card gave seemed to make all worries go away, even if it was just for a minute! Time to get back to the office and see what calls / emails I missed.

After some office prep, time to go home! It’s not everyday or often the 6 of us get to heat dinner together, but today was a nice day to do it. After dinner, bath time for Malix, then a little movie. All evening I keep a pulse on what is filling, what is breaking and any news in the card hobby. I see we are about to enter our 13th hour live on Fanatics Live and can tell our breaker needs. Jump in the car, back to the shop.

Get into the studio just at 10 pm in time to rip the last 2 boxes of the night on Fanatics Live. That’s a wrap for Fanatics Live. 13.5 hrs of constant ripping boxes! We have 2 other studios going strong for uncommon. One is ripping Hockey, the other is Update Baseball. The work and dedication we have for our team here is incredible. The real works starts on Thursday morning! We have a crew coming in to get it all sorted, packed up and shipped out!

Get in the car by 11 pm, head to to the tunes of Ed Sherran. Be asleep by Midnight, up by 6, let’s run it all back! Life is busy, life is crazy, life is happy, life can be scary, but there is no other life I’d rather have and no one else I’d rather live it with than my wife, Michelle, and our 4 kids!

On Thursday, February 23, 2023 I had the honor of being named “Entrepreneur of the Year” by the Envision Greater Fond du Lac (Wisconsin). Envision is the Chamber of Commerce for the area that includes the small town of Waupun, WI. Our store is located in Waupun.

Let me set the record straight, I don’t see myself as an Entrepreneur. This is another topic for another day. From all accounts and all definitions of what an Entrepreneur is, I am one. So I guess I’ll just have to get use to this label. Like a lot of things, I’ll do it kicking and screaming. I’m assuming doing something you don’t want to do, but making a fuss about it, is another Entrepreneur trait. I started my “Entrepreneur” journey, for the sake of this award, in 2016.

Back to the award. I had the opportunity to give a speech to this audience of around 400 people. The crowd is an intimidating one. A crowd of politicians (not intimidating), many great local leaders (somewhat intimidating), business owners (intimidating), Entrepreneurs (very intimidating), and three of my children (very very intimidating). I’m sure there were some haters scattered in there too (not at all intimidating).

I’ve spoke in front of many different audiences. I’ve guest spoke to classes, taught college classes, spoke at a funeral, school board meetings, in front of Senate and Assembly committees at the Capital, etc etc. Most every time I’ve spoken in front of a crowd I prepared some notes and it was very easy for me to use my notes that I made to speak. In fact, most times I do it the day before and never change my speech from the time I thought of it. This speech had a much different approach.

My first idea for this speech would likely lead to a few people hating me, most people thinking I’m a jerk, but a few people (very few) thinking I was awesome.

I’ll try to break down the speech that never was.

1. Thank my family, Envision. Congratulate others that received recognition that night. But most of all, thank the many businesses in the room. Simple and off to a great start. We’ll that is when it would take a turn.
2. Explain why I wanted to thank the many businesses in the room. Go over the top about thanking the big business in the room. One’s that have been around a long time and have hundreds of employees. Maybe even call out a couple of them.
3. I want to these businesses in the room for not believing in me many years ago. In the summer of 2012, our family was living in the Westside of Fond du Lac. I took a job in the Milwaukee area and hated it weeks into the job. It was an hour away, paid well, but just a miserable job. For the two years that followed taking that job, I applied for almost every job I could find in the Fond du Lac area, called companies about possible job openings, left messages for business HR departments and sent many letters.
4. Sorry, your experiences don’t line up with what we are looking for. This sums up those two years of looking for jobs in the Fond du Lac area. Those two years confirmed to me that I’m not in the “boys club” and never wanted to be. I didn’t grow up in the area so I didn’t have childhood friends that could get me in the door, etc.
5. If anyone in this room believed in me, I’d be stuck working for you and not be up here. Thank you from the bottom on my heart for not believing in me so I could provide so much more for my family that you ever would have.
6. Then walk away. Say nothing else, let them google my business.

You get the idea. It would have been one of bitterness, regret and frankly pretty pathetic. A speech I would have loved to hear someone else give and feel the awkwardness. It wouldn’t have been something I would be proud of and definitely not a way I would want my kids to look at me.

It took about a week for me to loose the bitterness and toss the speech idea. I looked at the speech as an opportunity to tell our story, be a little funny, be a little inspiring and hopefully encourage others. Here’s the speech: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=N8ENDS6WVxQ&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR233-Nioy10EOWHZ_SYSPyqIdA5Doq6LdEp2MOJEbsYbSv5OsuFGoq9C74

Our wedding day, November 24, 2007. It was a beautiful day in Fond du Lac, WI. At this time, Michelle and I were living in Allentown, PA. Long story why we were living there, we’ll save that for another entry. Michelle was busy planning our wedding 5 states away. My favorite part of the planning, likely the only part I played in the planning, was working on our soundtrack!

In 2007, it was popular to make custom CD’s of music. If you are under 20, there is a very good chance you don’t know what a CD is, that’s fine, just don’t share that, it will make me feel old. For our wedding gift to those attended, we handed out CD’s of our favorite songs. This really was important to Michelle and I. We spent many hours going over different selections and why. I don’t regret a single selection. But I have been thinking much more lately, if we released a sequel CD to our life since that magical day, what would the songs be?

First of all, let’s review the 1st “release.” See Picture:

All great songs. Looking back on it, #5 How Sweet It is by James Taylor really shows some significance. In the visitation before my mothers funeral, James Taylor was played. She loved his music.

#13 Extra Ordinary by Better than Ezra is still my favorite song. I really enjoy many of their songs, I look forward to taking my kids to their concerts soon!

Now on to Disc #2.

The first selection is a no brainer. Home by Blue October. “I can’t wait to see what’s around the corner, I can’t wait to soar.” Damn right! I love everything about this song. “Only care in the world is that our kids are alright, Daddy loves momma and momma loves him.” I could go on and on. One of my favorite moments in life is playing this song in the kitchen of our home moments after closing on the house we built.

What’s second, this is where it gets tough. I’m going to go with a song I recently discovered. A wild card if you will. #2 is Big Love, Small Moments by JJ Heller. This song really speaks to me and our last 5 years. We are always looking for big moments of change, but the reality is that the big things happen in the small moments. Having a son that happens to have Down Syndrome, he works so hard to achieve some things that our other children did without much fanfare. “Big Magic in the mundane.” “Everything is sacred when you take time to notice.” You are damn right. Good luck listening to this song, I mean really listening, and not have a little tear.

#3, let’s have a little fun. I’m going to have to go with Matea’s favorite song. Yes, our 8 year old gets to have a selection. Anytime I ask her for a song, there is only one answer. You know dad is dancing and singing along with her! I present #3, Best Song Ever by One Direction. When I ask her why this song, the answer is simple “It’s the Best Song Ever.” Hard to argue with that!

If Matea gets a song, the others must! Lydia turns 11 this week and she and music is always changing. Most nights her and I do a song as I tuck her in. We do many different selections from all different years. When we started doing this tradition, this song kept coming up, I bring it back every once and a while for night time. Here it is: #4 Fast Car by Tracy Chapman!

Trent is up for his song selection. I asked him what his favorite song is, he was a little hesistant. He landed on Michigan for the Winter. I do like that song, but when I think of him, the selection is obvious. This kid wants to hunt, fish and love everyday. A song that needs no explaining: #5, Luke Bryan – Huntin’, Fishin’, And Lovin’ Every Day!

#6 is going for our 4 year old Malix. Does he have a favorite song? He’s 4, they are all great. But he does have a dance to a song. Here it is #6: Shotgun by George Ezra!

All good lives need a rock. I definitely have mine in Michelle. She’s always been there for support in our adventures. Times have been tough, times have been amazing. For her, #7: Tell your Heart to Beat Again by Danny Gokey!

In 2018, I quit my full time job as a Director of Buildings and Grounds with a school district. Since then, everyday I feel like I’m living the American Dream, playing with baseball cards for a living. So, this choice is obvious. #8, American Dream by MKTO!

How about a pick up song, feeling like giving up (I’ve been there many times). Feel like calling it a day. I’m four, five seconds from wildin’. We are almost there, just need to get through this. When your kindness is taken for weakness. I have the cure, here’s #9 FourFiveSeconds by Rihanda, Kanye West and Paul McCartney!

In this adventure, the true is sharing it with my wife (Michelle) and kids. This song really speaks of seeing and doing so much, but the best line is “There’s heaven on earth, Seven wonders, And you.” It really is about being with those you love and enjoying that time, then take the adventure, together! Here’s a fantastic song for #10, 7 Wonders by Jon Robert Hall.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and maybe have some new favorite songs. I love music and love finding “new favorite songs.” Making this list was much harder than I ever thought it would be. I would enjoy your comments on the blog what songs you would include on your soundtrack!

I don’t like birthdays. Never have, never thought I would. I like to celebrate accomplishments. Celebrate doing something, achieving something. I’ve always thought celebrating a birthday was kind of weird. I mean, everyone has one, what’s so special about having one.

I dislike birthday’s so much that if there is something I want and my birthday is near, I just buy it so it can’t be “for my birthday.”

In the past 5 years my perspective about almost everything has changed. Feel free to read the previous entries of the blog to see why. I’d like to think I’ve evolved. But this birthday thing, I just couldn’t wrap my head around what’s so special, until March of 2019.

*This is a better time than any to make a very important note. I love kid birthday parties. We have been lucky enough to have great friends and family who throw parties for their kids. Those afternoons are some of my favorite events. Mostly because it’s a reason to gather. How I miss gathering with friends, I hope we can be back to “normal” soon. Thank you to everyone who invites our family to your child’s birthday party. I just hope if your reading, you didn’t stop at the 1st paragraph and decide to stop inviting us.

Back to my perspective about Birthdays. February of 2019 it was apparent that my mother was not going to live long. She had been battling cancer and it was obvious to her and us that her time on earth was coming to an end. I tried to spend as much time as I could with her during those months. On one of my visit’s she brought up my upcoming 40th birthday in May.

I didn’t like the idea of turning 40. Really hated it actually. I like to think of myself as 25. Heck, I open baseball cards for a living, I’m really 12. I was really struggling with it and my mom knew it. Our conversation went something like this:

Mom: “Tom, are you excited to turn 40 in May.”

Me: “No, in fact I’m going to skip this birthday and every other birthday. I don’t want to have a birthday anymore.”

Mom: “I wish more than anything I could have another birthday. That would be another year with you, Michelle and most importantly, my grandkids. Instead I won’t have another birthday. “

My mom just put me in my place. I didn’t know what to say. I think she found a little joy in putting me in my place. Who am I kidding, she found a lot of joy in putting me in my place.

The only thing I could really do was to celebrate my birthday. I still wasn’t ok with that. As May approached, mom’s health got worse. She passed away April 25, 2019. 11 days before my birthday. He funeral was 3 days before my birthday.

I decided to not listen to mom. We didn’t throw a party. Our family was living in a 3 bedroom apartment at the time. We were building a house and it couldn’t be done fast enough. The birthday came and went.

41, that will be the party. I turned 41 on May 6, 2020. Guess what people were doing May of 2020. The answer, not a thing. That birthday came an went.

42 is where it’s at. I turn 42 today and I’m pumped. Another year with my wonderful family. Another year of running a business that really started by opening packs of baseball cards in a basement. Now we are remodeling a 6,000 sq ft building into a true destination cards shop that will be an awesome place to work, hang out, and simply be. Another year of traveling and finding new adventures. Another year of making new friends and truly reconnecting with others. No more BS small talk. Either connect with friends or don’t waste anyone’s time.

If your reading this (thank you by the way), what am I trying to say to you. Celebrate every stinking day. Don’t wait for your birthday. Do what you want to do. The first thing, is that everyone’s path and trail is different. Do what you want to do. Not what someone else wants you do to. 1) Want to do a dream job, but your crappy 9-5 is getting in the way. Start your dream job from 9 pm to 2 am. Build it up, then quit your 9-5 and be your own boss. 2) Want to be a better cook for your family. Take the time, learn a recipe and get the “good” food. Take pride in the dinner. 3) Want to write a blog. Just start writing. Don’t care what others think. Guess what, they are jealous if you take risks they would never take. They can sit around the bar stool and talk about you all they want. 4) Want to finish a degree. Do it. Don’t make excuses.

Go all in, be bold. Believe in yourself. My baseball card business is tons of fun. Lately I’ve recognized a saying others say to me when they learn a little about the business. The saying is “who would have thought.” I never really thought much about that saying, but today someone said it to me when I was wiring a large amount of money for a large amount of baseball cards. My answer just came out: ” I thought. I thought about it 5 years ago and decided to pour my heart and soul in it. I thought about it because I have so much self confidence in my abilities and work ethic the hundreds of doubters in my life didn’t effect me. My wife thought it would work, my business partner also thought it would work. I think about it day and night. That’s who would have thought.”

The bank employee looked at me and simply said: “Good for you. I’m glad you thought of it.”

Tom Kulczewski is actually looking forward to turning 42 today, who would have thought.

Sometimes in life we see someone, something and we have sympathy for a total stranger, we connect on a level, if it is just for a few minutes, that we rarely connect with. I’m a believer that often we miss these time. We are too busy avoiding strangers instead of making connections.

I’ve very guilty of this, always busy. Always checking my e-mails, seeing what’s next, seeing what I “need” to see on social media. The time we have to sit back, put our phones down, look around for me is an airplane trip.

I love traveling, I really do. This past year has put traveling to a sudden halt for most of us, but I’m looking forward to doing it again.

October 1, 2019 the Milwaukee Brewers played a 1 game Wild Card Playoff game against the Washington Nationals, in Washington DC. My friend, Jon, has a connection with the Nationals, that part really isn’t important. I flew in the morning of the 1st, we rented electric scooters and drove around DC with really nothing to do. It was awesome. Afternoon came, we made it to National Park, to witness one of the best MLB games I’ve ever seen. After the game we had some fun, that part isn’t important to this story either 🙂

The next morning, I had a midmorning flight from DC to Milwaukee. Pretty routine, morning. Got some Chick-Fil-A nuggets for the flight, easy 90 minutes.

I was one of the last to board the plane, just me, my backpack and some Chick-Fil-A. It was a very full flight, I just went to the back of the plane, saw a family of 5. Dad (35ish), Mom (35ish), Big Brother (maybe 10 yrs old), Sister (8ish) and little Brother (4ish). It was very clear from the beginning, they were having a really tough day. Dad was really struggling, we made eye contact and an instant connection was made. Getting ready for takeoff, it was clear others around me started to get upset with the kids. Rolling eyes, etc. I decided to strike up a conversation with the family. I could tell they didn’t really want to talk, but hey, I’m bored and these other guys on the plane seem like a bunch of stiffs.

So I start with older brother. Simple “What’s up buddy?” He then says, and I’ll never forget it: “I need to go say goodbye to Grandpa.” Hmm, that’s odd I thought, then tears started from Dad. Oh, maybe it’s a funeral, or a grave visit. This is getting deep.

Mom and Dad go all in. Tell me the story. Grandpa is on life support, losing a battle with cancer. The son is a successful business man in Washington DC, and his Dad is dying.

This is October 2, 2019. My mother passed away from Cancer April 25, 2019. I then started talking righ Dad. Looked at him in the eye, both of us crying at this point, told him I know what he’s dealing with. Saying good bye sucks. Told him I did it months earlier. He asked me what I said.

What does a loving son say to their parents? Something we can always think about afterwards, but what about in that moment. Do we say “Don’t go” or something that we have no control of. Do we say “I love you” that’s the obvious one. What do we say? Why did we wait this long to say it if it’s important to say?

He wanted to know. I could tell he’s really intelligent, I’m sure very successful, I also bet he’s never lost for words. But he doesn’t know what to say to his dad before he passes. I could tell it was really important to him.

So, what did I say? I told him, what I’ll tell you now. I knew this would be the last time to speak to my mom, it was 2 days before she passed. I had spent the past few days with him and my father. I went in, hugged her. Told her I love her, then was lost for words. I then said, “I’m going to follow you and do what you always did. I’m going home to my take care of my kids, my wife, your grandchildren.” She smiled and laid down. That was it.

Was that the right thing? I think so. Our job is to take care of each other. My mom always took care of us, I needed to now take care of my family.

The dad looked at me. Really broke down. The mom then told me that is the best advice. Honor your parents, by taking care of your own family. The dad was struggling with did he honor his parents enough. He spent the last 10 years building his own family, running his business. Being a provider. He was struggling, was it a good thing? Was taking care of his family a good way to honor his Dad? I think so.

February of 2017 we left Children’s Hospital in Madison, knowing we would be back. Well, we are coming back this week!

In February of 2020 we realized Malix needed his tonsil’s removed. They were really swollen and apparently it’s common for a child with Down Syndrome to need them removed. Covid came and all “elective” surgery procedures were put on hold. They are back!

For Malix to be able to have surgery he needed clearance from his Heart Doctor. We have always anticipated a second surgery for his heart. The surgery would not be nearly as risky as his first. Great news. The bad news is that after his second surgery he would be on blood thinners the rest of his life. Bad news. Apparently being on blood thinners for many years has side effects… kidneys… etc. I’m not going to pretend I know all, but you get the picture.

Michelle took Malix to our Heart Doctor for the full check up. I decided to stay home and work. I wish I went. Well, Malix did great. He is cleared for surgery, but the miracle is his heart’s gap that needed surgery is closing. That means that the likelihood of surgery went from a certain to likely will never need it!!!

The day after learning this, something hit me. It hit me hard. My mother passed away last spring. Before she passed, she sometimes would say things as if they were fact. It really bothered me, because “how could she know.” We got into many discussions about Malix’s second heart surgery. Anytime it came up, she would tell me with 100% certainty that Malix would not need another surgery, no questions asked. I always thought it was a tatic to make me not worry about it. So, of course, I would argue with her, but she was so certain.

Well, mom was right. She was a strong believer in Christ. I know she prayed like crazy for all of us, but especially Malix. That kid is so lucky to have awesome grandparents, even if he’ll never get to see one of them again on this earth. Love you mom, thank you for looking out for us like you always do!

I am not a patient person, not at all. I acknowledge this as one of my weaknesses, but frankly I think it’s a strength. Malix is not patient either, and after his heart surgery on January 25, 2017, that is just fine.

Our journey, we last left off when Malix returned from surgery. Late afternoon on a snowy Wisconsin Wednesday. Now we (Michelle and I) are in his room with him. Oh, he’s still out and will be for a few days. Hooked up to dozens of monitors and dozens more wires. The biggest thing I could not take my eyes off was his heart. His heart? Yes. He came out with his chest open, covered by a transparent covering. You could see it beat. It was incredible, frighting, crazy, scary, beautiful all at once.

The lead Doctor is Dr. Petros Anagnostopoulos, MD, MBA, FACS. (Dr. A) He’s the Surgeon in Chief at University of Wisconsin, American Family Children’s Hospital in Madison, WI. He saved our son’s life. That simple, that complex. We would get to know Dr A much more in the week ahead. I wrote about him in earlier posts, but he’s worth writing much more about.

After surgery, we were with family in the waiting room. Dr. A came to speak with us. We stayed in with our family. Dr. A was calm, optimistic, but didn’t want us to get to excited. I remember Michelle’s brother, Kevin, thanking him. Dr. A responded “Don’t think me now, thank me when Malix leaves this place.” That stuck with me that the surgery is over, but there is a very long ways to go.

Going into surgery, we really had no true idea how long recovery would be. Days? Weeks? Months? No clear idea. Dr. A never gave timelines. He stuck by day by day steps. Told us some steps would be forward, some backwards. Be ready for days with no steps.

My favorite part of each day of recovery was the morning rounds. Our hospital is a teaching hospital for the University of Wisconsin. Each morning Dr. A would be with a group of students. He would question them on each patient, etc. He would ask the group of students, how do we proceed with Malix. They all had blank stares. “LIKE A TURTLE.” Slow and steady. You will want to push him, because he is a pusher patient, but he’s a Turtle. Dr. A would then tell the others how he made great gains, but would have set backs.

Then the next day. He would say “LIKE A TURTLE.” Malix had great gains, but would have set backs….. same thing the next day. Guess what, Malix is a fighter, impatient, can do it himself and nothing is going to stop him. 3 years later, he’s still the most determined kid I’ve ever met. It’s awesome!

In my mother’s battle with cancer, she would often tell me that it’s “Like a Turtle.” She loved this line and so do I. I believe I received my lack of patience from her. She would agree it’s not a bad thing. Having her pass on April 25, 2019 still hurts. She loved Malix and would love to see his impatience now!

Surgery as Wednesday, on Friday his chest was closed. On Saturday, we brought Trent into to see his little brother. To this point, the kids have not seen him. It was tough to show a child their sibling, laying there with dozens of monitors and medicine cords attached to him. Trent insisted to see him. It was a special moment!

The next day, it was time to wake up Malix. The nurses were shocked how soon he was ready, they shouldn’t have been. Malix does things on his time and that time is NOW! Taking Malix off of sedation was a scary time. Then a cough and breath on his own. We can now hold him. To this point he had to lay flat and still in a small bed. We were able to have the other kids see him. This family picture really captures it.

That picture says so much to me. The first thing you may notice is the cords / wires from Malix. That is nothing. He had so many more before. That was the “light” cord duty. I see a tired family, one that is going through something very few do go through. This experience changed our life, no doubt. Malix is now our inspiration really completes our family from before he was even born.

Just a quick side note, it’s my blog so I don’t need permission to go “preachy.” So many people say something to the effect of “I can’t imagine.” Guess what, I don’t care if you can imagine or not. Frankly I feel a statement like that basically says, I don’t care about what your going through, I’m so selfish that I try to turn every situation about me and I can’t do it. How about saying this instead: “You are doing great. I support you and am always here for you.” I know this will offend some people, but I can’t imagine what it’s like to be offended by it. 😉

Back to Mighty Malix kicking butt. Around Sunday I’m ready to get out of the hospital. He’s awake, he’s a love and needs lots of sleep. He can sleep at home, is what I’m thinking. Sitting in a hospital room all day makes a strong minded parent ask a lot of questions. Well, sometimes care givers don’t always appreciate all the questions. We had a nurse that would get bothered by us always asking why and when. Looking back on it, maybe (just maybe) I asked to many questions. Dr. A sat Michelle and me down and gave the greatest compliment we could get. He told us that as parents we are 3 standard deviations to the right and that nurses don’t always know how to deal with such great parents. Using Standard Deviations to describe someone as a parent if fantastic. I love him for that (and for saving Malix’s life).

Well, the day has come. February 6, 2017. We can go home. We know we’ll be back, but now it’s time to go home and be a normal family. Guess what, normal is boring. I have this little side business that is about to take off, I teach college class one night a week and work a full time job as Director of Buildings and Grounds for the School District of Fort Atkinson.